Consistency,+diligence+key+to+disciplining+kids

=This is How Lorrie Irby Jackson disipline's his children. He thinks= ="Swats, spanks kinda ok" I think "NEVER teach your child= =through swat or pain, Rules are OK as long as nobody gets= =damaged or hurt in a way!"=

 Lorrie Irby Jackson of Garland: Consistency, diligence key to disciplining kids

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12:00 AM CDT on Friday, March 26, 2010 =====

In the richest of ironies, I started forming opinions about how I would discipline my children many, many years before I had them ... from a comedienne. Thea Vidale outrageously recalled the day her oldest came home from school and informed her that she'd learned to call 911 if her mother's spankings went too far – and that the authorities would be happy to take her to jail. Her response was too vulgar to print here, but the sanitized gist of it was, "Girl, first you've gotta make it to the phone! Who do you think you're talking to?" And while it was humorous, I knew for a fact that I didn't want to be one of those parents who constantly used heavy- handed tactics when my kids disobeyed. After all, discipline means "to train," not "to terrorize." Punishment is never fun, but some parents – including those in the African-American community – fondly remember that there was always a relative or two willing to put the smackdown on any child who dared to roll the eyes, suck the teeth, pout or give any other indication of disobedience. These days, I'll admit that more parents definitely need to enforce authoritative boundaries, but I don't particularly care to spank. From my experience, spanking now means having to spank later (and harder) as the years go by, and it erodes the trust between parent and child; they don't know if "Come here" is going to result in a hug or a swat. Because my children fit three distinct stages and age groups, the challenge lies in making sure the punishment is appropriate to each child's offense and understanding level. For example, 10-month-old Layla is quick to pull hair or grab faces. Giving her a stern "No ma'am" as I clamp down on her hands and remove her from the temptations typically does the trick. But if she responds by arching her back and getting fussy, she's placed in the crib for timeout. For Nia, who's almost 4, we've added earlier bedtimes, no dessert, the threat of staying home from Wee School and, when warranted, swats to the backside. I've also mastered the "stony stare" used by parents worldwide if the child is getting out of pocket in public and I want to issue a silent warning to fall back or face the consequences. Darius, who will turn 13 within days of you reading this, is the one with whom we have to lay down the law. For the most part, he's well-behaved, but his flashes of temper are something we simply refuse to tolerate. So in the midst of his "man training," he listens to lectures about present and future ramifications when he disobeys, usually while doing a longer list of chores and being deprived of one of his favorite pastimes, the TV. The rules that we drill into him are: 1. Adults have democracy, but with the kids, it's strictly dictatorship. Insolence is never an option, so obey adults and communicate respectfully. 2. Your sisters work your nerves? Be patient with them, because way back in the day, you did the same thing yourself. They look up to you, so be a kind and loving example. 3. Be proactive: Clean up random messes you encounter, and don't wait to be told to do elementary tasks. 4. You're beyond blessed with health, a loving family, a bedroom, food and water and a decent home to live in, so remember the commandment to honor thy mother and father to keep it coming. Without rules, there would be no civility, only chaos. But it doesn't take a beatdown to make it happen. Being consistent and diligent goes a long way toward raising responsible young people who never have to make that call to 911.